I've enjoyed Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages so when I came across this, it made an impromptu introduction to my reading list (the fact that I was still #2 or 3 on all my holds was a contributing factor as well). This made an interesting "read" and I really enjoyed it, as a husband and as a student of counseling. The premise that all marriages shift through various states of marriage was a gain in useful knowledge in itself. Note, the seasons are not stages, they are states. You move from one to another in some order, yes, but people do not begin in spring and end in winter, they fluctuate between them all.
The crux of the book was that Spring (the growing joy of marriage) and Summer (the warm and happy time of marriage) is the place we want to be, so we need to learn to move from Fall (the rough spots) and Winter (the spot of absolute despair/misery) to those happier states. He details the states quite well, but mentions there is some overlap. You can't point to a given place in your life and says "There is where we moved from Spring to Summer." But they are different, and useful to understand.
Probably the best part was the ending where he discusses seven different methods of moving out of fall and winter and into spring and summer. I think the best, and hardest, was learning where you failed your mate, both through your own meditation on the subject and consulting family and your spouse! That would be so hard, to go to others and say, "Tell me how I failed." Then, and only then, you can begin to repent and ask for forgiveness. There were many others, but this one really amazed me, to commit that much would seem hard in the season of winter.
Overall, great book on marriage. I'm almost considering adding it to my mandatory reading list for marriage (which I should put on this blog I guess). Great read for anyone in marriage to think of how their marriage is and where to go from here.
The crux of the book was that Spring (the growing joy of marriage) and Summer (the warm and happy time of marriage) is the place we want to be, so we need to learn to move from Fall (the rough spots) and Winter (the spot of absolute despair/misery) to those happier states. He details the states quite well, but mentions there is some overlap. You can't point to a given place in your life and says "There is where we moved from Spring to Summer." But they are different, and useful to understand.
Probably the best part was the ending where he discusses seven different methods of moving out of fall and winter and into spring and summer. I think the best, and hardest, was learning where you failed your mate, both through your own meditation on the subject and consulting family and your spouse! That would be so hard, to go to others and say, "Tell me how I failed." Then, and only then, you can begin to repent and ask for forgiveness. There were many others, but this one really amazed me, to commit that much would seem hard in the season of winter.
Overall, great book on marriage. I'm almost considering adding it to my mandatory reading list for marriage (which I should put on this blog I guess). Great read for anyone in marriage to think of how their marriage is and where to go from here.
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