Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Book Review: The Four Seasons of Marriage

I've enjoyed Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages so when I came across this, it made an impromptu introduction to my reading list (the fact that I was still #2 or 3 on all my holds was a contributing factor as well).  This made an interesting "read" and I really enjoyed it, as a husband and as a student of counseling.  The premise that all marriages shift through various states of marriage was a gain in useful knowledge in itself.  Note, the seasons are not stages, they are states.  You move from one to another in some order, yes, but people do not begin in spring and end in winter, they fluctuate between them all.

The crux of the book was that Spring (the growing joy of marriage) and Summer (the warm and happy time of marriage) is the place we want to be, so we need to learn to move from Fall (the rough spots) and Winter (the spot of absolute despair/misery) to those happier states.  He details the states quite well, but mentions there is some overlap.  You can't point to a given place in your life and says "There is where we moved from Spring to Summer."  But they are different, and useful to understand. 

Probably the best part was the ending where he discusses seven different methods of moving out of fall and winter and into spring and summer.  I think the best, and hardest, was learning where you failed your mate, both through your own meditation on the subject and consulting family and your spouse!  That would be so hard, to go to others and say, "Tell me how I failed."  Then, and only then, you can begin to repent and ask for forgiveness.  There were many others, but this one really amazed me, to commit that much would seem hard in the season of winter.

Overall, great book on marriage.  I'm almost considering adding it to my mandatory reading list for marriage (which I should put on this blog I guess).   Great read for anyone in marriage to think of how their marriage is and where to go from here.

Book Review: Who Moved My Cheese?

Okay, this was kind of a silly tale.  However, I think once you get over the silliness of the story, it gets really good.  It seems to me to make a very good point about how we as people over complicate things.  We DO NOT LIKE CHANGE!  Who took my stuff?  Why was I fired, I worked hard!  These things are all bits of whining we have done over the years and it shows how we over complicate our lives.  Change happens, you need to roll with it.

Short review for a short book:  I like it, it has a good message about an aspect that is deficient in our own lives.  I would recommend it, especially in light of the current increase in joblessness and lay-offs.  It's a good place to learn about how to deal with the curve balls of life.

Book Review: The Millionaire Next Door

Amazing book.  I really enjoyed this one.  A book on money, backed by research on how the rich handle money.  It is very enlightening to hear a description other than that of Trust Babies and Super-Stars.  To hear about people who make money in a slow and steady way, to hear and find how people best become wealthy.

It is a very through book, describing multiple levels of the way money is handled.  A couple of interesting things to me were:  The largest indicator of wealth accumulation seemed to be the way the spouse that stays at home.  They referred to two aspects of wealth building: financial offense and defense.  Financial offense was acquiring money.  You know, high salary, good yielding investments, being born into the right family, etc.  Financial defense was keeping expenses low, spending on what is necessary without fluff, etc.  They found sound financial defense was the strongest indicator of wealth building, and the wife most often was influential one in this realm.  Very interesting.

Another interesting aspect is how they view the acquisition of vehicles.  One thing they mentioned is how once someone remarked flippantly how the wealthy tended to buy their vehicles by the pound.  Then, when they checked, they found that they were in fact buying vehicles that were cheapest by weight!  The buying techniques were interesting to.  Once those with a "I scratch your back, you scratch mine" arrangement with a dealer was removed, the most prevalent car shopping technique was to shop all locations for used cars.  They said that people who do this are always casually looking for a car, but never in a hurry.  They will often check, even test drive, then make a low ball offer.  If it's not taken, they politely say good bye and walk off.

I really liked this book, and found it very interesting.  It's actually kind of nice to know I already have a number of these habits having been taught by my parents.  Not that wealth building is my goal in life, but being able to be wise with my money is, and it's nice to know I'm on the right track.  A recommended read.