A small task

I lead a session in a middle school youth retreat a week ago. It was really good, we talked about the top 10 lies and cop-outs in dating and relationships. I think it went well, I think the youth listened, learned, all that stuff. It was fun.

What's a little more scary is in a couple of weeks I'm leading again at the high school retreat. But this time I'm doing two sessions, and the first is on what it means to be a man. Geeze, I'm supposed to cover in a 45 to 60 minute session something grown men in their 80s never figure out sometimes. I'm supposed to cover in an hour a subject that has huge numbers of books devoted to it.

And of course, any session on men, has to have a bit on women. After all, the whole session is true love waits. And to understand any of it you have to understand first what it means to be a man, then what it means to be a woman, then everything that goes on between them. That's the basic approach the whole session takes, but it's kind of dautning to think I'm going to have to tell these guys where they need to grow, what it really means to be a man.

So I've been praying. Praying and reading. It's no secret that I really think a lot of the book Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. I recently reread that and am near the end of the women's book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. This has been a good source for organizing my thoughts, but the problem still is that it's so much to fit in. How am I supposed to exlain in an hour the three things a man craves, that we have a question about success, and that we are all wounded, that we must over come this woundedness, that we must offer our strength, real strength, to our women. How am I supposed to explain the wondrous mystery of woman hood? It's all a bit much, but I hope ti will work out well, with the Father's help.

It's all about the attitude

I've been thinking a lot about attitude and reaction. One of mybiggest conclusions has been that I am responsible for them. I know most of you are saying "Well duh," but hear me out. How many of you are like me and have felt offended? Or bored? Or disinterested? Those are what I'm talking about.

It all comes down to choice. I choose to be offended. I choosed to be disinterested. Granted, somethings are easier to take offense at, but in the end it's my choice. This means that being offended can even be a sin. Man have I failed if that's true. This means being aloof is a sin, again, guilty. Geez, this is a nasty train of thought, really. But it's only logical. If I am responsible for me, despite all the influences and temptations, then I am responsible for my emotions. God has called me to love, therefore anything other than that such as anger, offense, resentment, disgust, are lack of love. Not obeying God, i.e. loving those around me, is sin, so those poor attitudes are sin. Makes my whole teenage years look like a cesspool, doesn't it? And it's not like I'm doing super well at the moment either.

What it all boils down to is I'm responsible more and more for myself. The deeper my spiritual walk gets, the more I realize how awful I am. Funny isn't it? The closer to God I get, the more astute my sense of just how screwed up I am gets?